Papa

I've been thinking about my dad a lot the past few days. My dad - or papa as he is now known to Daniel- passed away over a year ago from cancer. He has been on my mind a lot lately because my dear friend Jen is now going through a similar situation. Her mother has been fighting cancer for over a year now, and they just recently learned that it has come back in several new places. It is so hard to hear what Jen is going through because I was there just a few years ago, and I know how she is feeling. My dad battled cancer for seven years. He was such a fighter. He never gave up, and he was constantly putting his body through so much so that he could be here for my mom, my brother, sister and I. My dad's fight was full of ups and downs...he would rid his body of the cancer in one spot, and then find out that it had metastasized somewhere else. My mom was with my dad throughout all of it. She was amazing, and I was able to see just how much love there was between my parents. I was away for a lot of the years that my dad was fighting. I often feel guilty and sad that I wasn't there, but I know that my dad would not have wanted it any other way. Of course he would have loved for us to be close to each other, but he never wanted his cancer to stop any of us from living our lives. He was so proud of all of his children, and would have never wanted us to stop what we were doing.

I miss my dad all the time. Especially when I am having rough days. I was always able to call my dad and get a different perspective on whatever I was going through. He always encouraged me to stay positive and see the good in every situation. I am thankful for all that I was able to share with him before he passed away. He was able to give his blessings to Nick before he proposed to me. I was able to tell him that I was pregnant with Daniel, and he couldn't have been happier. My dad always wanted to be known as Papa to his grandkids....he was so excited for them. I get sad now wishing that he was here to play with his grandson and watch him grow up, but I know that he is here with us, and so proud of all of Daniel's milestones. The ache that my heart feels will never completely go away, but I am now able to be thankful for all of the time I was able to share with my dad. He has always been an amazing father and husband, and he is now the Papa that watches over Daniel and all of us. I love you pop, and miss you everyday.

Please send your prayers and positive thoughts to Jen, her mom, and her whole family. Jen is an amazing person who has been through so much. Jen's mom has been through so much as well, and has two beautiful grand daughters...both Jen and her mom could use everyone's prayers...I am thinking about you, and praying for your mom in this difficult time.